I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
