haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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