I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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