my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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