I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
