i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
