It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
