one two three fourrrrnication!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
