A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
oh god the rape fog is back!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize