did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
