I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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