Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
