last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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