The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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