"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize