if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
