don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
