hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
