At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
