Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
