Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
