so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
