i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
