if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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