I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
