Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
