hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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