sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
