You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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