like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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