Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
