You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
