I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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