I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Randomize
