Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
