that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
sex in a hospital.. check
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
