I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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