i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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