yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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