2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize