im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
