i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
