Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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