I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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