Non-Jews are for practice
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
