Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
