their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
