Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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