no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am mentally ready for anal.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
