It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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