my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
bring money and cleavage
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Congratulations! We have a period
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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