Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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