he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize