So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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