Whod you bang
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
