Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize