the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
