i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
