The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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