You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
