yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
