i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
A+ Viking dick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
