I've blown a few things in my day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Found the puke drawer
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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