All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
