I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
