Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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