Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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