cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
