Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize