I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
