I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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