I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
