i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
