I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize