Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
