hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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