My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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