Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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