so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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