My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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