Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
